Daily Note Archive

June 18 2026

been a bit emotionally scattered lately. i rlly want to just like,get out the emotions in my head onto paper or music or art or just sooomething. also idk if you've seen, but i added a new story to the writing page a few days ago. i made it a while ago, but i enjoyed it enough to put on here.

im glad i have the people i have

June 17 2026

i dont feel that good today

June 16 2026

at work, my hands are in gloves most of the time, which my skin doesnt seem to like. they get kinda like,, dry, but not really? they get dry, yes but it mostly just looks like theres a bunch of little cuts on my knuckles. looks like i got into a fight.

a little while back, my hands looked particularly rough, having actually bled a little bit. it doesnt hurt that much, and i like how it looks, so i dont do anything to stop it. after i washed my hands at one point, they looked very soft. my skin didnt look dry, it just looked red and kinda torn up.

i posed myself and took a picture of my hands through the mirror. i sent it to a friend. she said "Cute,,"

this morning, my hands looked like that again, and it made me think of her. i dont know if i'll ever talk to her again. gummies were her favorite type of candy. she really liked kirby. she had quite a lot of energy most of the time. i didnt really get to see her often, but the last time i did, it was the most fun ive had going out with a friend in a long time.

i'd really like to think i'll see her again. i hope she's okay

June 15 2026

as much as it doesnt feel like it, i really do gotta get it through my head that i have friends. its not a lot, but the people i have are ones i really appreciate being there for me... i try to be myself in everything i do, and ive found that makes it quite hard for me to feel comfortable committing (why is that word spelled like that?) to getting close with someone. this does mean, though, that the people that stick around and the people i keep in my head from time to time are ones i feel rather close to, and safe with.

im not sure if anyone reads these. i know at least one of my friends (u know who u are) has read some of these, and it's a nice feeling. it makes me feel like im cared for in a subtle way and it means a lot. and even if nobody reads these, thats okay too. i feel good just getting these words out there in some degree. even if i missed the last day, i still dont feel any pressure to keep up with this. im gonna since i like it, but again, it's just so nice to do something so unrestricted by my own standards.

thats one of the reasons i never made any more blog posts replying to guestbook messages. the way i formatted those posts in the html was so ass ,_, but i do check the guestbook often. reading back through them, i feel bad that i dont really directly reply. i do love all the messages though, i promise. it's been particularly interesting seeing some people i havent talked with in a long while reach out through it. im very hesitant to re-connect with any past friends, but i cant help but feel the want to regardless. while i often feel like i dont, i honestly do enjoy people.

its quite later in the day. technically, its the 16th, but i havent slept yet so its going on this note. im not sober rn so this might not make much sense. ok i brought this up but instantly the thought left my mind lol.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadkjhfjskkgjggjkfl;vofjdhjdkajfkfjkjdfslif

June 14 2026

[i missed this day, but i did remember to make the note. i just... didnt actually make it? i guess i was too high lol]

June 13 2026

sigh,.. missed the last 2 days, or last 3 if u dont count the "a" which wasnt even supposed to be the note...

anyways, been playing video games lately. finally got tf2 redownloaded and it runs at ~130 fps????? it used to run at like, 20, so i uninstalled it since my laptop is shit. but i guess its fine??? joined some community servers and had a lot of fun on some casual payload maps. i rlly like gunslinger engineer because its so stupid to put a mini sentry in dumbass spots and surprise a random scout who's over-extending. easy kill

really though, im terrible at pvp shooters. i like playing medic too

later in the day now. playing hollow knight silksong. im using the debug mod and another mod to basically practice no-hitting each boss. the debug mod is crazy and it allows me to read/write save states with keybinds, so i can easily adjust my nail upgrade between fights so im not obliterating lace 1 with a 21 damage maxxed nail... its fun so far! ive already done all the bosses no-hit, but not without an op nail for the early game fights. also, nyleth no-hit is fucking awesome.

i did a parry-only run of the game using the cross-stitch madness mod. it makes it so that cross stitch (the parry) is free and instead of gaining silk from the nail, you only gain silk from the hits the parry does. up to 3 silk with one proc of the move. its awesome, and some of the bosses in that playthrough were really fun. nyleth was so awesome. seth was also super cool, as was last judge. and DUDE... last judge's like, swirly mace attack? the parry comes out very quick and grants i-frames while active. the recovery frames on the animation also have you be invulnerable, and if you time it just right, you can get out another parry before you're vulnerable again.... so you can just sit in the attack and parry it like, 6 times in a row if you have the timing down. it feels fucking awesome. the timing is hard, but definitely not frame-perfect. it feels intended, honestly.

i like getting to rant here about whatever the hell i want. its nice. people can read this if they want, but if nobody does, thats fine too. i change a lot as a person and it's interesting to have a little glimpse into myself be posted in a place people can see if they want to. i have a link to my site on my discord profile, as well as on a few places i have my music, like youtube and bandcamp. its fun, i like existing online ^^

i like the idea that some of these are just really long. lol

June 12 2026

[like cmoooon man i gotta keep up with this. missed this day]

June 11 2026

[dude i missed like, 2 days in a row. the last one was a placeholder and i missed this day too...]

June 10 2026

a

June 9 2026

playing hardcore terraria as of late. pretty cool. made pancakes earlier and decided to use the last half of the batter to make one big pancake. it turned out really good, surprisingly

June 8 2026

who else up fluiding they gender?

really into she/he pronouns lately maybe. hard maybe

i love the idea of just using this space to talk about whatever, so i might just do that. honestly, i havent been talking to many people lately. just like, 2-ish online friends. so getting to rant about whatever here is quite fun. got a good review at work the other day, also! mentioned my name and everything, so im quite proud of that :3 id like to think im pretty good at my job

June 7 2026

There's so many times where i'll get an idea for a song and then later realize "wait fuck this is just from this other song." Prime example of this being that the lead melody of Riftwalker off of Quiet Places is taken from Interstellar Retribution, specifically the disbelief papyrus undertale fan song-

Also, in the song Waterway Angels Love Matchsticks, the chorus chords are basically the end of Graze the Roof from the PvZ soundtrack. Also also, a melody I just came up with before writing this was pretty good, and then I immediately reaized it's the soft instrumental break at the end of It's Been So Long by The Living Tombstone... oh well

Anyways, my new album stands at a staggering 22 minutes. yay. The issue is I make a bunch of short songs and they're all pretty good I think, but I dunno how to make them longer. I don't really need to, I know, but I want longer songs...

To put a little spoiler here for those who actually read this, a track name off the new album is "there's nothing special about you" and it's a song thats VERY different from anything I've done before. Caramel Treat harsh noise moment (it's a short track, dw) Anyways I gotta go to work now, ily mwah bye

June 6 2026

got to day 49 in lobotomy corporation, and im somewhat bothered by where im left off. i cant actually do day 49, im just set back to day 48. if you've gotten that far in the game before, you'll know why that sucks so bad. i might try and beat the game still, but thats a lot of time and work...

June 5 2026

dude I woke up to my alarm and fell right back asleep. when i woke up again, i checked the time and it was 8:47

i had to open at 9:00 (but its fine bc i locked in and got ready super quick. made it in by 9:07)

June 4 2026

currently doing day 46 on lobotomy corporation. so far so good, kinda. hokma's suppression was surprisingly easy

June 3 2026

forgot yesterday :/ ive been playing lob corp a lot and oh man, its getting hard. on day 36 (37? i dont remember) and its ramping up a bit. trying to get all the abnormalities, and i literally only have 2 left to get. i also wanna do apocalypse bird, but idk if i can get the other 2 birds before the end

June 2 2026

[maaaan i forgot this day too]

June 1 2026

gonna try making some CDs with my music today. also started playing lobotomy corporation again, and its quite fun (its also extremely hard to play while high)

MAY 31 2026

been thinking about getting back into lobotomy corporation, but its such a daunting game... i got to day 46 on my last run, but kinda gave up bc the abnormalities i chose were too hard for me to handle ,_,

I think I had mountain of smiling bodies, silent orchestra, and queen of hatred. im surprised i even had the patience to get to day 46, considering i restart the day if anyone dies. i know thats objectively not how the game expects you to play, but it makes me feel better about it

MAY 30 2026

played hardcore terraria all day. kinda fun, have yet to die. basically died to EoC but i saved & quit at the last second. not proud of it...

MAY 29 2026

yaaaawwwn.. been playing a lot of celeste lately. forgot how good that game is

also, for all of you nighttime synthetics fans (all 0 of you), i'm working on re-doing that, but its probably gonna be a while til i put anything out. if ur curious as to what that even is, you can find it here, or via the link on the two strangers page.

MAY 28 2026

meow

i feel alright today. got to sleep in :>

MAY 27 2026

Anyone ever feel like it's impossible to make friends? I don't really feel like I click with anyone, and any time I try and socialize, I get way too tired, way too quickly. Kinda sucks. I've gotten used to it, but humans are social creatures and I can't just pretend like I don't need friends.

I know there are people out there I can be friends with, though. I just gotta keep looking...

MAY 26 2026

Made pancakes. felt very tired lately.. gonna go to the doctor maybe

MAY 25 2026

[i missed this day :( ]

MAY 24 2026

Gotta love getting real into a creative endeavor only to immediately hit a wall of art block. sigh..

MAY 23 2026

tired, and also feel kinda sick :/ been making some cool pixel art though!

MAY 22 2026

My mouse started working again last night, yippee! I had to replace the battery, but NOT because it was dead. For some reason, when I turn off the mouse using the switch on the bottom, it just. Kills the battery inside it??? Idk how, really, but oh well. I feel ok today, solid 5/10 average. Maaaaybe a 4.5/10, hard to say actually.

Starting a new medication today, actually. Really hope there's no side effects that'll make work hard ._.

MAY 21 2026

My mouse broke last night :( I turned it off just bc I had it on the couch and didn't want it doing stuff while I was sitting there watching youtube, but I kinda forgot that I don't turn it off for a reason,, Something's up with the battery in it so it might be cooked now, sadly. Laptop trackpad my beloathed

Also, I've been kinda anxious as of late. Not sure why. The funny thing about changing as a person, is that it's really hard to connect with the people you once did. (at least in my experience) It kinda sucks, but I'd rather stay who I am than try to change into something for the sake of connection, been there done that. (but also it made a lot of things easier....)

MAY 20 2026

I have a trainee at work today, so hopefully that goes well. I think having the post be one note per day is a lot easier than trying to write actual blog posts. Less pressure

MAY 19 2026

2nd day of the whole "note of the day" thing and i dont have much to say. i dont feel good

MAY 18 2026

Starting the note of the day today. Let's hope I stick to it!

I've been actually working on music! I don't wanna spoil anything yet, but oh man. It's got some of the best stuff I've written so far, I'm so excited to share it aaaa,, Anyways, that's all today lol